Ever found yourself scrolling through TikTok or Instagram, thinking, Why is this all I ever see? Maybe it’s endless puppy videos, yoga tutorials, or those oddly satisfying cleaning clips. Social media feeds are designed to show you more of what you engage with. Watch one dog video, and suddenly, you’re in a never-ending golden retriever loop.
But here’s the thing: life works pretty much the same way. What you notice and focus on in your day-to-day shapes your “feed”—your perception of reality. Think of the red car theory: you think you never really notice red cars on the road, but as soon as someone points them out, they seem to be everywhere.
So if you set goals and intentions and remind yourself of them often, you teach your brain what is important and you your brain starts to look out for those things in reality. Instead of letting it happen to you, you could actively curate what you see, how you feel.
How Your Reality Algorithm Works
Our brains are wired to spot patterns. The things you think about, look for, or spend time doing start to feel more common. It’s why someone training for a marathon suddenly sees joggers on every corner or why new parents can’t un-see babies in every café.
This mental phenomenon is called the Baader-Meinhof effect (a fancy name for when something you notice starts popping up everywhere). This a cognitive bias your brain has when you think, learn or experience something and you begin to see it in higher frequency in your everyday life. Social media mirrors this—it’s not magic; it’s just a reflection of where your attention goes.
If your mental “feed” is full of stress, negativity, or endless doom-scrolling, that’s what you’re programming your reality algorithm to deliver more of. But this works in the opposite way too: if you think and talk about positive things more, your brain will notice positivity more too.
How to Change Your Reality Algorithm
You don’t need to quit your job or move to a cabin in the woods (although we know a great one if you’re tempted). Instead, start curating your life feed with these simple, actionable steps:
1. Set Daily Intentions
Before you dive into the day, ask yourself: What do I want to notice more of today? Whether it’s kindness, creativity, or moments of calm, setting a focus primes your brain to spot these things.
2. Choose Your Inputs Carefully
Social media isn’t the only algorithm you’re feeding. The books you read, the podcasts you listen to, and even the people you spend time with shape your perspective. Want more joy? Follow uplifting creators, swap out true crime podcasts for comedy, or hang out with friends who make you laugh.
3. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good trend; it’s like hitting “like” on the good stuff in your life. Take 30 seconds at the end of each day to jot down three things you’re grateful for, no matter how small.
4. Interrupt Negative Loops
Find yourself stuck in a mental scroll of “ugh, everything’s going wrong”? Interrupt it. Go for a walk, call a friend, or simply move to a different room. The physical shift helps reset your focus.
5. Notice the Good Stuff
Treat your day like a treasure hunt for positivity. Compliments from a stranger? A gorgeous sunset? The smell of coffee brewing? These little wins are your life’s equivalent of a viral post—celebrate them.
The Power of Perspective
By consciously curating what you notice and how you spend your time, you can create a life feed that works for you instead of against you. Next time you’re scrolling, pause and ask: What do I really want to see? Because whatever you choose, that’s what you’ll start to notice more of—and, ultimately, what shapes your world.
Ready to start your curation? Take it offline for a bit and spend time noticing what matters most.
