Doing things alone can be scary. It can feel uncomfortable, even a bit intimidating, to do something solo. Whether it’s grabbing a coffee, going to the cinema, or finally taking that trip you’ve always wanted to do - sometimes it just feels easier to… not. Because - “will people think I’m weird for eating alone?” or “will people think I’ve got no mates?”.
The truth? No one is thinking that. Everyone’s far too wrapped up in their own worlds, checking notifications, replying to messages, deciding what to order. But that little flicker of awkwardness can still be enough to stop us from doing the things we actually want to do.
Doing things alone feels awkward simply because we’re out of practice. But once you push past that tiny bit of discomfort, you realise it’s one of the most freeing, grounding, and quietly powerful things you can do for yourself.
Why We Feel Weird About Doing Things Alone
We all know that feeling: walking into a cafe by yourself and instantly reaching for your phone. Not because you have anything urgent to check, but because it feels like a safety net. A small way to say, “Don’t worry everyone, I’m not weird, I’m just waiting for someone.”
That fear comes from years of quiet social conditioning. We’ve been taught that being surrounded by people means we’re liked, wanted, doing life right. And being alone can feel like a sign that we’re not. So when you do something solo, your brain panics: This feels strange. People might notice. But research says they won’t.
This is what’s known as ‘The Spotlight Effect’ - a psychological bias that makes us believe others are paying far more attention to us than they really are. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to care.
We also experience what psychologists call fear of negative evaluation - that little voice worrying what others might think. And the awkwardness itself? That’s just unfamiliarity. We’re not used to being alone without distraction, so we feel uncomfortable in it.
When you sit alone at a café (with no phone, no distraction), three things combine:
- You feel the pressure of imagined observers (spotlight effect).
- You worry what they think of you (fear of negative evaluation).
- You feel awkward because your brain says “this is abnormal for you.”
Over time, these initial reactions dim and you realise no one’s watching. And if they are, they’re probably admiring you for it. It only feels strange because it’s new. And like anything new, the more you do it, the easier it gets.
You might like to read: Why you should date yourself: 20 solo date ideas
The Hidden Benefits of Doing Things Alone
Once you get past the initial awkwardness, solo time can seriously change how you see yourself and the world.
- You do things you might not have done. There’s no need to compromise on where to go, what to do, or how long to stay.
- You build self-trust. When you do things alone, you learn that you can rely on yourself.
- You become more present. No small talk, no distractions. Just you, noticing things again.
- You grow more confident. Repeatedly doing small things solo rewires your brain to care less about what others think, because nothing bad actually happens.
- Stronger memory and creativity. Studies show that time in solitude is better for memory consolidation and creativity.
Research shows that solitude enhances emotional regulation and creativity - meaning that quiet, solo moments aren’t wasted time; they’re maintenance for your brain.
10 Things to Try Doing Alone
If you’ve been putting off solo time, start small. Romantise how lucky you are to spend time with yourself, with no distractions or other people to please.
- Have coffee alone (no phone). Sit, sip, and people-watch.
- Visit a gallery or museum. This is somewhere a lot of people go alone. Go at your own pace.
- Take a solo walk or hike. Go a familiar route surrounded by nature.
- See a film alone. No one’s watching you - they’re watching the movie.
- Eat out solo. Try lunch before dinner. Bring a book if it helps.
- Try a class alone. Pottery, yoga, cooking. Another thing a lot of people to solo - plus it’s easier to meet people when you come alone.
- Head to park to read. Pick a spot and read your book for a while.
- Wander some shops. No need to buy anything, just browse and wander.
- Join a walk or run club. Another thing a lot of people do alone and a great way to meet new people.
- Do nothing. Literally nothing. Sit, breathe, think.
Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely
Solitude doesn’t need to feel heavy or sad. It’s a pause button, a way to check in with yourself before you burn out trying to be everywhere for everyone.
The more you do things alone, the less it feels like a big deal and the more it feels like freedom. So next time you hesitate to go for that walk, café trip, or cinema visit because “it’ll be weird,” remember this: no one’s looking, no one’s judging, and you’ll probably end up enjoying it more than you thought.
After all, you’re going to spend the rest of your life with yourself - so you should enjoy your own company.
