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How many times have you said or typed, “We need to catch up soon!”, only to find yourself stuck in the same cycle? A quick coffee, a rushed lunch, or a string of voice notes, all squeezed between busy schedules. This is what people are calling ‘the catch-up trap’ — where friendships start to feel like a series of recaps rather than new experiences.
As we get older and our calendars fill up, it’s easy to rely on updates over WhatsApp instead of making time for genuine, shared moments. But the best friendships aren’t built on just keeping in touch, they’re built on making new memories.
The Importance of Friendships
All relationships in our lives have importance and meaning, and friendships come high up on the list. Spending quality time with friends is essential for mental wellbeing. A 2023 study from Harvard found that strong social connections can reduce stress, boost happiness, and even improve physical health. In fact, loneliness has been linked to an increased risk of heart disease and depression. Which is why investing in friendships isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.
Interestingly, science also shows that challenges feel easier when faced together. A study from the University of Virginia found that people perceive a hill as less steep when they are with a friend compared to when they are alone. This highlights how social support not only strengthens emotional bonds but also shapes our perception of the world around us.
Why We Get Stuck in the Catch-Up Trap
Life gets busier as we get older. Between work, relationships, and general adulting, it’s easy to default to convenience when it comes to seeing friends. A quick coffee feels productive, a voice note keeps things ticking over, and a catch-up lunch is better than nothing. But over time, this can be more of an information exchange, rather than a friendship that keeps deepening through new and shared experiences.
By getting stuck in the ‘catch up’ trap with friends, we’re missing out on making new memories. Some of the best friendships are built on shared experiences, not just shared stories. Studies show that shared experiences strengthen social bonds and increase happiness. And nurturing an environment where you have time for deeper conversations will strengthen your relationships and boost you mental wellbeing.
Of course, sometimes we only have time for a coffee and that’s fine. Just make sure you’re also trying to schedule in quality time with your friends where you can also make new memories or enough time to discuss deeper topics or feelings.
20 Ways to Catch Up While Making New Memories
Next time you plan a catch-up, swap the usual routine for something a little more memorable:
- Go on a hike – Fresh air, great views, and plenty of time to chat.
- Try an escape room – Work together to solve puzzles and break out.
- Take a pottery class – Get creative (and laugh at your wonky creations).
- Go wild swimming – Brave the cold and feel amazing after.
- Book a spontaenous trip – Even a day trip can shake things up.
- Do a digital detox retreat – Lock your phones away and reconnect properly.
- Sign up for a class – A wacky workout class or even a dance class.
- Go to a comedy show – Share belly laughs instead of just updates.
- No time limit coffee date – Spend a whole afternoon with a picnic.
- Visit a museum – Catch up in a creative environment.
- Do a cookery class – Learn how to make pasta or sushi together.
- Go camping – Even if it’s just a one-night micro adventure.
- Attend a live gig – Music brings people together like nothing else.
- Book a spa day – Self-care and quality time in one.
- Host a book swap – Get together and exchange books you love.
- Try bouldering – A fun challenge that’s easy to pick up.
- Visit a botanical garden – A relaxed, nature-filled way to chat.
- Go paddle boarding – A great mix of adventure and conversation.
- Take a day off work together – Midweek plans feel extra special.
- Host a ‘come dine with me’ night – Cook, rate, and enjoy a proper evening in.
Make Time for Friendship, Not Just Catch-Ups
Friendships thrive on shared experiences. If you’re always meeting for coffee but never making new memories, your friendships might feel like something to maintain rather than something to enjoy. So next time you catch up, do something different—because the best friendships aren’t just about staying updated, they’re about creating stories worth telling.
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