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Screen time can replace quality "we" time without you really noticing it happening. Not through an active decision, or because either of you would ever choose a phone over the other person…but through habit and ease. After a long day of work, scrolling asks less of you than talking, and you can often get caught in a scroll on the sofa before you even realise you’re phubbing your partner. Before you know it, you’re spending multiple evenings a week in the same room with your partner, but not actually being mentally present.
How phones affect your relationship
As humans we gravitate towards the easier (more comfortable) option, and on a Tuesday night the easier option is sitting on the sofa watching TV and probably, your phone. Nobody has to suggest it, plan it or book it, so it ends up becoming the default.
And even if you do have a date night or activity planned, the presence of your phone can impact the experience and conversation. In one study, a few hundred people were sent out for a meal, and the ones who could see their phones felt more distracted and enjoyed the company less than those who didn't have a phone in sight.
It also changes the conversation. Feeling listened to is most of what makes someone feel understood, and undivided attention is the part a phone interferes with. Looking down mid-sentence to check your phone makes your partner feel unheard, so the conversation gets cut short and they leave feeling like you’re more interested in your feed than them. It's not about how long you're on your phone, it's whether your partner feels ignored while you are. So putting your phones away isn't really about the time you get back, it's about making sure they know they have your attention.
Why new experiences make better dates
Couples who do novel, mildly stimulating things together report better relationships than couples who do things that are pleasant and familiar. Your favourite restaurant is still your favourite restaurant, and going back to it is no bad thing. It just doesn't leave you with as much memory of it.
Your brain holds onto memories made in unfamiliar situations better than memories made in familiar ones, because novelty triggers the chemistry that decides which experiences get preserved and which get let go. A night doing something neither of you has done before gets filed in more detail than another night at the usual place, and it's still there to look back on months later, while a run of similar Friday evenings blurs into one. Trying something new together is more fun while you're doing it and leaves you with more of it afterwards.
Which is the argument for fifty ideas rather than five. When you get to the list, pick the one that sounds slightly ridiculous over the one that sounds sensible.
50 screen-free date ideas
Date ideas without leaving the house
For an evening when you don’t quite feel like leaving the house.
- Create a vision board for your future (independently or as a couple)
- Make a time capsule to open in five years
- Take a love languages quiz together or try the 36 questions test
- Have a board games night
- Make a pasta dish from scratch (using a recipe book or notes)
- Have an at-home spa night
- Do a quiz night, two rounds written by each of you
- Paint portraits each other with a bottle of bubbles
- Write a life bucket list together
- Start and finish a puzzle
- Make homemade pizzas
- Bake cookies
- Have a fakeaway night
Creative date ideas
A lot of these involve choosing something on the other person's behalf, which is a fast route to finding out what they think you're like.
- Re-create your first date
- Browse a bookshop and pick a book for each other
- Go to a gallery or exhibition
- Get a home terrarium kit (we love Leafage)
- Go charity shopping and style each other
- Try couples yoga or pilates, whatever your ability
- Go wine tasting at your nearest vineyard or wine shop
- Go to a pottery class
- Go to a flower arrangement workshop
- Go to a record shop and pick an album for each other
- Book a couples photoshoot
- Plan each other's dream date night
- Go to a cooking class
Active and outdoorsy date ideas
Nature is great for your mood and feel-good chemicals, so pairing a date day or night with the outdoors is always a good idea.
- Go camping for the weekend
- Go indoor climbing
- Go to a dance class
- Go stargazing with blankets and hot chocolate
- Go on a sunrise or sunset hike
- Go on an evening bike ride to a new area
- Rent a paddle board for the evening
- Take a spontaneous road trip somewhere new
- Rent a canal boat for an afternoon
- Play tennis or padel
- Play mini golf
- Go to a sauna and wild-swimming spot
Screen-free nights out
The classic version but with no phones in sight.
- Go to a comedy night
- Go to a cocktail making class
- Go out for ice cream
- Go to a wine bar you've not been to before
- Play darts or pool at the pub
- Go to a gig or open mic night
- Go to a jazz bar
- Go to the theatre
- Find a hidden speakeasy
- Go for dinner somewhere new
- Go to your local pub quiz
- Go for rooftop drinks
When an evening isn't quite enough
An evening does the job but three days does it better. Somewhere you've never been together is unfamiliar by default, and with your phones locked in a box by the door there is nothing left to misread and no glance to interpret.
That's what our cabins are for. Around 75% of our guests are couples looking to reconnect, and most arrive intending to have a proper conversation for the first time in months. There's no television and no signal, and a Nokia in the drawer in case anyone needs to reach you.